


I meant it. (Hello Sunbae-nim)

by kkamchoco



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys Kissing, Idol AU, M/M, Mentioned TVXQ, just one tiny scene tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 12:36:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18756568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kkamchoco/pseuds/kkamchoco
Summary: “Hi! We are Grass Entertainment’s newest boy group, Regular, and I am the leader, Lee Taeyong.”





	I meant it. (Hello Sunbae-nim)

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfic for this fandom skskskksksk. I wrote this when I was hungry so I'm sorry???? Also unbeta-ed :>  
> Btw, Taeyong and some members are not NCT members here just to clear things up. (OT21)  
> Rated T for cursing UwU

NCT was on their way to Music Bank to perform Superhuman, their comeback song. Jaehyun was in the backseat squished between Yuta and Winwin who were bickering about who knows what and started to shout at each other with their mother tongue. He was grumpy, but the foreign noise from both of his members wasn’t the reason for this behavior. It was six in the morning and the sun was just about to rise, for God’s sake. Why did they have to pre-record this early?

 

He didn’t even get enough sleep because Haechan, his roommate, kept on watching whatever Korean drama he was watching with the loudest volume possible at wee hours of the morning, but Jaehyun just kept his mouth shut because he loves their youngest like that.

 

Being the leader meant he had to be considerate and maybe, just maybe, had to sacrifice his happiness for his members, people he trained with for years, became people he daily lived with and people who became dependent of him.

 

He didn’t realize that they have arrived until Taeil from the seat in front of him tapped his leg. “It’s time to get out.”

 

Jaehyun just nodded and started getting ready when he saw there were paparazzi and fans outside. _Smile Jaehyun, smile._

 

-

 

They were in the waiting room waiting for their call when the door opened. Jaehyun was facing the wall, eyes closed, memorizing his lines so to not forget. He practiced a lot and sang his lines countless times but he still gets nervous. _It’s just normal_ , he thought, _it’s our first stage for this comeback anyways_

 

“Hyung.” Mark called to him. When he opened his eyes, Mark handed him an album. _Oh, rookies_. It’s kind of a tradition where rookies visit seniors’ waiting rooms, greet them and give them their albums. He stood up and turned to where his members were facing. Then he saw nine boys and bowed to them.

 

“Ja, hana, dul, set. Regular, huh?”

 

Nine eyes were fixed on him, but his eyes were only fixed on one.

 

“Hi! We are Grass Entertainment’s newest boy group, Regular, and I am the leader, Lee Taeyong.”

 

It was him. Lee Taeyong. The guy who had Jaehyun’s eyes fixed on. Lee Taeyong. His ex. Lee Taeyong. The person he loved the most. Lee Taeyong.

 

-

 

“What the fuck, Taeyong?” Jaehyun exclaimed. After three years of not seeing Taeyong, he finally was in front of him right now, in a small closet inside the KBS building.

 

“I missed you, too, Jae.” Taeyong giggled. The audacity.

 

“When the fuck did you become an idol?”

 

“We just recently debuted. You know, that’s why we presented ourselves to you as rookies because we debuted a little over−”

 

“I meant when the fuck did you change your mind and decided to become an idol?”

 

“Oh, you remember? You remember when I said I don’t want to be an idol but then I got casted because apparently I got the looks so I decided to get on with it and trained for a little over a year and now I’m here!” Taeyong seemed happy while explaining, even clapping his hands and showed his perfect smile Jaehyun loved to see. _Loved_.

 

But Jaehyun was not happy.

 

“Yes, I remember. And I also remember how you broke up with me.”

 

“I−”

 

“NCT please stand-by!” Taeyong was about to talk when the staff called.

 

“I’ll get back to you.”

 

Jaehyun left Taeyong in the small space and Taeyong could only sigh.

 

-

 

“This has been NCT. To the World! Yeogin NCT! Thank you everyone!” NCT left the stage after saying goodbye to their fans. _Not bad._ Jaehyun thought. Not a bad performance and not even a single mistake was made even if Taeyong never left his thoughts.

 

“Johnny hyung, you can leave without me. Tell the managers I have somewhere to go.” Jaehyun started walking towards the small closet, leaving a confused Johnny behind.

 

Jaehyun found Taeyong on the floor, hugging his legs and his head on top of it.

 

“Hey, I’m back. Now talk.”

 

Taeyong was startled when he heard the door open but calmed down when he saw Jaehyun and heard his voice.

 

“Okay.” Taeyong started. Jaehyun understood that Taeyong didn’t want to stand up, so he closed the door, sat on the floor and leaned on the door in front of his ex-lover. “Where do I start, Jae?”

 

“Why did you break up with me?”

 

If the Jaehyun from years ago asked Taeyong this, he would’ve started tearing up, but years of acting classes made Jaehyun hold his emotions.

 

“You were training to be an idol Jae. Remember when you came home and excitedly told me you were debuting? I was happy Jae. I was happy for you. But then when I realized what it meant, I knew I had to end it then.”

 

Taeyong’s voice was wavery, but continued as Jaehyun just kept silent.

 

“I know what happens to idols who date, Jae. I’ve been a fan for years. I know that they do not allow idols to date, and some fans act as if dating is the biggest sin there is to commit, and it tarnishes their name. Jae, I didn’t want that to happen to you and to your group. I’ve seen how happy being a trainee who was bound to debut made you and I wanted you to continue being an idol and not quit because of you dating me.” Jaehyun saw the drops of tears run down Taeyong’s face and knew he had to speak.

 

“I was willing to risk it all Taeyong. This doesn’t matter. I could’ve quit and get another job rather than being an idol. But that night, Taeyong, you just left without saying what was wrong. I didn’t get an explanation as to why you had to break up with me, when I finally reached my dream. I thought I was going to reach it with you, because you’re the only one that mattered. Did you know why I auditioned in SM Entertainment?” Jaehyun waited for an answer, but Taeyong just looked at him with his teary eyes, and so he continued.

 

“I auditioned because of you Taeyong. I auditioned because SM Entertainment houses TVXQ, your favorite Taeyong. I auditioned with the thought that if I pass and become close with TVXQ, I can bring you to be close with them as well. I did it for your happiness Taeyong. I did it all for you.”

 

Taeyong was speechless and stayed like that for five more minutes when he finally stood. Following him, Jaehyun stood up as well.

 

“But TVXQ has a dating ban right? And so do you.” Taeyong smiled a bittersweet smile, passed by Jaehyun, headed to the door and left.

 

-

 

It has been five months when the confrontation with Taeyong happened. Promotions have been over and Jaehyun was on his bed, arm resting on his forehead, thinking of Taeyong's words (again), when their manager opened the door.

 

“Hey, I got an invitation from Music Bank saying they want you to be their one-day MC Friday next week. Would you like to do it?”

 

He thought that this was somehow a way to stop thinking of Taeyong, even just for a day.

 

“Yeah, sure, okay. I’ll do it.” He nodded.

 

“I know you’d want to do it so I already send them the confirmation before coming here.” The manager laughed.

 

“But am I going to do it alone?”

 

“No. You’re going to do it with someone from another group.”

 

“Who?”

 

“Doyoung, from Regular.”

 

_Regular. Isn’t that Taeyong’s group?_ _But sure, anyone but Taeyong._

 

-

 

Friday of the following week arrived faster than everyone expected. Fans of both NCT and Regular were excited because Music Bank was holding its first live show and members of both groups were the MCs.

 

Jaehyun was in the waiting room getting his makeup done while holding his cue card, practicing his lines over and over again. He imagined what it would be like working with this Doyoung guy, how it felt like working with someone who lived with Taeyong. _Does he know about us?_ He thought and closed his eyes.

 

The door opened and Jaehyun heard the seat next to him squeak. _The Doyoung guy must’ve arrived._

 

When Jaehyun opened his eyes to greet his partner, he almost cursed but stopped when he realized the setting where was in. He was looking at his partner for today’s reflection through the mirror, and looking back at him was a smiling Taeyong.

 

-

 

They were back again in the small closet where they were situated in five months ago.

 

“Why the fuck are you here Taeyong? Where is Doyoung?” Jaehyun tried to remain calm but his nostrils were flaring.

 

“Doyoung, he got sick, so I became proxy.” Taeyong was just smiling which made Jaehyun even more pissed.

 

“And out of eight other members they chose you?”

 

“Debut promotions ended a while back and the company says comeback isn’t scheduled until next year so we stayed together to practice every day but the others went back home after Doyoung got sick so they could avoid catching the disease while I stayed back because I’m the leader and I’m closest to Doyoung and he’s got to have someone to take care of him and I’m kind of the only one available today so, here I am. Oh, and a manager is watching over Doyoung so don’t worry about him.”

 

Jaehyun stayed silent because wow, Taeyong still talks too much and he remembered the days they spent under the stars just talking about everything and nothing all at once.

 

“Oh and they said we kind of look great together on-screen and it would bring great exposure to our groups because you’re center, leader and face of the group and I’m also center, leader and face of the group.”

 

Jaehyun just nodded to whatever Taeyong said.

 

-

 

_Five years ago…_

 

_“Grammy, this is my boyfriend Taeyong. Taeyong, this is Grammy.” Taeyong was not finished admiring the house his boyfriend lived in because wow, it’s humongous and ohmygod was that a Golden Buddha statue he saw by the entryway?_

 

_“So you are the Lee Taeyong my grandson is very much in love with.”_

 

_Taeyong honestly dreaded the day he meets Jaehyun’s grandmother, the one who raised him to who he is right now because he’s honestly feeling a little guilt because he felt like he took all of Jaehyun’s time for himself._

 

_“No need to be afraid love, she’s the sweetest grandmother you’ll ever know.” Jaehyun assured him and Taeyong did when he saw that dimple he loved so much._

 

_“Come, follow me to the dinner table and we’ll get to know each other more while eating.”_

 

_Jaehyun excused himself to take something from his room which left Taeyong and his grandmother alone._

 

_“Sit in front of me dear I want to see more of you and examine the beauty that captured Jaehyun’s eyes.” Taeyong then proceeded to sit on the chair where Jaehyun’s grandmother told him to sit on._

 

_“So tell me dear, how did you and Jaehyun meet?”_

 

_“Oh we met when we were fighting over the last sandwich in the cafeteria way back spring of last year. The line behind us got longer and people were already shouting at us so we just decided to share it. So that day we sat together in the cafeteria and talked about ourselves and became close friends until we started dating.” Taeyong giggled when he remembered what happened and made Jaehyun’s grandmother laugh with him. They talked about a lot of things including his parents and siblings, his pet dog Ruby and  so much more when_ _Jaehyun arrived at the dinner table and kissed Taeyong’s head as he sat down._

 

_“What took you so long?” Taeyong whispered._

 

_“It took me a while to spot what I was looking for.” Jaehyun replied in a hushed voice._

 

_“But did you find it?”_

 

_“Yeah, I did, don’t worry.” Jaehyun smiled at him._

 

_“You two look great together.” Both heads turned to Jaehyun’s grandmother who was smiling at the both of them._

 

_Taeyong can’t see it but Jaehyun saw how his cheeks turned red at the comment. Taeyong just thanked her shyly and started eating with his flushed face._

 

-

           

“Music Bank! Hello I am your MC for today, I’m NCT’s Jaehyun.”

 

“And I also am your MC today, I’m Regular’s Taeyong!”

 

Both started reading what was on their cue cards and even interviewed groups who were promoting.

 

-

 

It was already the end of the show and Jaehyun and Taeyong had to show up again to end the show.

 

“This has been Regular’s Taeyong together with…”

 

“NCT’s Jaehyun! Taeyong, thank you for being my partner today and can I just say you look really great today!”

 

_That wasn’t part of the script, Taeyong thought._

 

Taeyong looked at Jaehyun with his eyes wide open and that’s when Jaehyun realized what he had done but decided to be cool about it.

 

“Th-Thank you sunbae-nim.” Was he stuttering? Was Lee Taeyong stuttering? On live television?

 

Why was he stuttering from Jaehyun’s words? Even after hearing it countless times in the past, from the same person.

 

“Again this has been your special MCs for today, NCT’s Jaehyun…”

 

“And Regular’s Taeyong.”

 

“Have a good weekend!” Both exclaimed, waving their hands towards the camera.

 

-

 

“Jaehyun, what was that about? It wasn’t in the script.” If fate couldn’t be funnier, they are situated yet again in the small closet, facing each other. Taeyong was red, but not red as in angry red, he was blushing red.

 

“I just complimented you. Is that bad?” Jaehyun tried to keep his cool.

 

“N-No. No. It’s alright.”

           

“Taeyong why are you stuttering? You never stutter when you talk.”

           

“I…I just remembered how you used to tell me those words every single day. Even if you saw me wearing my pajamas and sporting my bed head, you’d still tell me that. Even if you saw me after a breakdown because my degree program required so much, you’d still tell me that. I didn’t know it would still have an effect even after all these years.”

           

Jaehyun heard the change in Taeyong’s voice which cued that he was crying, and this caused Jaehyun to freak out.

           

“Hey, hey don’t cry. Hey, look at me.” He held Taeyong’s head and directed it towards him, but Taeyong cried even more and hid in the nook of Jaehyun’s neck and shoulders.

           

“Taeyong, listen.” He started as he patted Taeyong’s back with his right hand and held his head with his left. “Of course, I would tell you that. There is never a day where you don’t look good. I say that because it is the truth. Why would I lie? You know I would never lie specially to you, love.”

           

It was silent for a few seconds until Taeyong started to giggle.

           

“Why are you giggling? Did I say something funny?”

           

“You called me ‘love’, Jae.” Taeyong kept on giggling as if it was the funniest thing he ever heard.

 

“You called me ‘love’ like you really meant it, Jae.”

           

_Six years ago…_

 

_“Taeyong stop crying.”_

_Taeyong was in his dorm room, situated in Jaehyun’s arms, crying because he just can’t really take it anymore. He has three quizzes the next day and a paper due the day after that where he got assigned to a topic he only heard for the first time in his life and he hasn’t even started writing it yet because he just simply isn’t interested in the topic._

_“Taeyong, everything’s going to be okay, love.”_

_Taeyong stilled in his boyfriend’s arms. “Say that again.”_

_“Everything’s going to be okay, Taeyong.”_

_“No, that wasn’t what you said.” Taeyong looked up to Jaehyun with his tear-filled, puppy eyes._

_“But wasn’t that what I said?”_

_“No, Jae, you called me love. Now, say it again.”_

_“Everything’s going to be okay, love.”_

_“Again.”_

_“Everything’s going to be okay, love.”_

_“One more time.”_

 

_“Everything’s going to be okay, love.”_

_Taeyong giggled. “Love.” He giggled again. “I feel better now, Jae. Thank you.”_

_“Always, love.”_

_“Stop it, you’re making me feel mushy and everything, ah…” Taeyong hid his face with his sweater paws. “Stop being sappy.”_

_“From now on, I will call you love, because I love you, and I mean it.”_

 

           

Taeyong’s words echoed in Jaehyun’s head. _You called me ‘love’ like you really meant it, Jae._

           

Maybe because he really did.

           

Maybe because he still did.

           

Maybe because he never stopped.

           

Jaehyun held Taeyong’s chin and kissed his lips. After all these years, he still uses the same lip balm. After all these years, his lips are the softest things he has ever touched. After all these years, nothing can compare to kissing Taeyong’s lips.

           

After all these years, Jaehyun still loved Taeyong.

           

“I love you, love.”

           

And he really meant it.

 

+

           

“What’s going to happen to us now, Jae?”

           

“I don’t know, love. But I’ve got you, you got me, so…”

           

“But the fans, Jae. Their little hearts are going to be broken.”

           

“They will understand us, love.”

           

Jaehyun and Taeyong hugged each other and remained in the same position until Taeyong spoke.

           

“Jae.”

           

“Yes, love?”

           

“When will you bring me to meet TVXQ?”

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at giving titles and summaries so I hoped you enjoyed that ahahahhasjdhalshdlas


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